falling with your eyes open

 

heal yourself  with the  power
of  the  drug.  make   amends
with  the  kingdom of  apathy.
you  are  weak when  you  try
and  fight. deteriorate and let
go.  you  are  not the  hero of
your life.  this is not  The Day
The Sun Came Back. if it  was
it   is  over   now.  the    clown
laughs at you. be a gentleman.
imbibe  what calls your  name.
embrace   the  future  of   the
drink. you are  not yourself in
the sun. Know shame is only a
word    when    it   hurts   you.
embrace  your free will. brave
the        graceful    lines     of
abdication. the fall is joy. the
ground a sweet           release.

 

renounces a hospital vision

take this pill
to the next receiver.
unearth him as
the next contender
for the steel casing
of surrender.
may we all feel
the fresh burn
of the nob flesh
salivating for
intoxication.
may it all rest
on the inner scrutiny
of the self when the
heart palpitates
one too many times
and yourself
too involved to calculate
the journey to a
hospital bed.
take this lesson
to the next child
of earth.
unbury him
before the oxygen
freezes out
for the hope we
do not laugh about
anymore.


poem in red

this is a poem in
red and my hands are
shaking and
my bed is not
a bed
and I lay still and I
think of dreaming and
I think I’m dreaming
and the yellow walls are
not yellow until the sun
is on time and
puts them in
filthy piss yellow
and I wake up from being
awake
and I daydream of
sleeping
and I bleed colors
and I forget what day
it is
and I write a poem
in red

wandering things

I flatten out the
bed sheets
and I disregard
the crumbs

I should really
break my habit of
eating in bed,
but I am no longer
afraid of the
roaches

I understand that
they must
eat, too

like all
wandering
things


notes on survival

avoid patio conversations
allocate energy to the musts
             (“hi”s and “how are you”s)
retreat from pop country songs
close eyes alone in an elevator

             this is how to feel alive

Blackfish Netflix San Francisco
dance lungs with THC
fall twice not once in love
(without limit)
pray shameful in the dark times

             this is how to feel alive

unprotected alleyway Skin
cringe at cosmic justice
make money enough to breathe
therapist’s number on the to-do
(one year update)

clones to comment on in Bakersfield
             (anywhere)
plenty of social circles to join
dream of internet dream girls
masturbate in one dimension

             this is how to feel alive

lines in lands lines in poems
logic art love in war
all of the lonely people
they don’t belong here
numb for their pain and yours

             and this is how