Just 72 hours ago you
Demanded my attention
Commanded by sweet
Intuition
But you stumbled backward
Into a tunnel
Funnels into darkness
Now filtered by destructive energy

Now you retreat, silently
Backspace delete
Our history
Nothing to see, no information
Leaked
Go ahead and breathe
Fall back without me

Nevermind the shards
As you pry yourself apart
The ensuing scars
Will disappear
It only took you 72 hours
To forget what was ours

Go on in silent retreat
Repeat
Repeat
Backspace
Delete

The petals of
She loves me
She loves me not
Coming out
One by one
Slowly, yes, you pull them off
Let destiny make the call
Odd or even
What you believe in
If I had a voice
I’d call it odd
But I am speechless
Can’t even breathe
Do you even see me
In your shallow depth of field?
Or am I just a blurry hue
Beyond your own thoughts
Of you

I apply a little pressure
To make the pain go away
Erase the misery
The wincing
The flinching
But it doesn’t subside
Just grows with intensity
In this city
Where the hospitals
Are all full
You stand there and
Watch me bleed
Hold in your hand
The only thing I need
Right in front of my eyes
It flashes out
Mirror toward golden skies
You lie
Say you can’t let go
But I’ve watched you drop it
So I know
You’re holding out on me
I’m reeling on bloody knees
How does the power feel
In your hot little hands
Is it something cool enough
For you to stand?

Your word is a mirage
Shimmering in front of me
On and on I walk
Calloused in autonomy

So tell me about longitude
Give me sense of place
As I stumble my way forward
Looking for your face

But if my hands can never touch you
And the well is just bone dry
Step up and admit it
Don’t leave me here to die

Cry, I will, for hours
Mourn, I will, for days
But weeks will find me strong again
And the truth will clear the haze

The truth hits a wall
And I know I must resign
But the truth’s a rubber ball
I am dodging every time

In this land of liberty
Where all the states unite
And the stars all line up so neatly
Before peaceful shade of night

I am that nameless person
That my neighbors wish was dead
Cuz I am not wearing
Their anarchist armband
And I am not burying
My head in the sand

So you ask me why I do not
Take up my cross and scream
Before you criticize my family
For living in a dream
You tell me I’m a-ok with you
And you’ll love me for who I am
While you silence me with bitter retreat
Into their shady little sham

So call me a chameleon
I will sit clear and blank of face
Adopt the appearance
Of one standing in your grace

In this land of liberty
Where all the stars unite
I stand alone
In a lonely shade of night

She keeps you up at night
Gasping for air
Her cries spilling blood
Upon your breast
She bathes you
In the heat of her grief
The waves roll in over your head
You feel the blame
Falling on your shoulders
Smoulder
Like you do with guilt
Like a ghost on stilts
Atop a sheet of sex wax
A mess of cracks in your vision

She lies in wait
For you to fall
But you’re not really solid
At all
An apparition
Consumed by her macro magnification
And particles of your deep appreciation
Overwhelming obligation

But you see she’s not your responsibility
Sometimes you gotta hold onto your own hand
Walk through the darkness
Alone
On new land

Avert your eyes
And let her wander
Even if she squanders
Life and blood and bone

You have to find your own way home

Sugar’s gone from the windows
No more gumdrops on doors
You cannot salvage this
With salt and fears
And wars upon wars

She will rise
From the past of your arms
The ash of the burns
Up like a phoenix
Into the night
She just needs the room
To spread her wings and fly

Truth scattered ‘round by natural disaster
You ran to the grounds
Cut your feet on the plaster
I met you there with fine alabaster
Broke the vessel in two
Poured it on you

Because your worth exceeds
What you think is possible
Your value on earth
Is inexhaustible
Despite your mistakes
Or heavy heartbreaks
You are loved

Maybe you’ve made
Bigger messes than others
Retracing your steps
Through illicit lovers
But I look at you
And see a rare find
That can’t be drawn quietly
Inside of the lines

Clinging to your comfort zone
At the bottom of the sea
Of cigarettes and safety nets
And a shadowed memory

What you’ll never say to me
I find it all alone
In shaking water from my boots
In rage-beaten bones

A right left scar
Of jealousy
That’s where I’ll be
I find no comfort in your pain
So here we go again

Happiness is quicksand
In a jungle of faith
Why are we standing in the desert
Waiting for rain
The ball and chain is the
Doubt you collect
Leave it to the vultures and
Ravish the beauty you’ve elected

squat to the
Ceiling
til I’m
Feeling
taller than everything

company loves
Misery
History
of solitude playing on
Repeat
Retreat
back into
Myself
Shells
of volumeless
Screams
Dreams
lagging so far
Behind
i’m fumbling in the dark to
Find
Rewind

there you go disappearing on the
Horizon
look up here where I am
Crying
blaming the sun for another
Revolution
burning another
Contusion
into an otherwise blissful twilight
Confusion

i’m useless
Here
don’t you
Care
won’t you see me
Anymore
or did my face
Distort
among the seven deadly
Whores
i want
More

but I’ve wanted it so
Long
my grip is
Gone
so on breaks the
Dawn
and still the bridge is
Drawn
in cacophonous
Suspension
as you
Mention
the Lord will
Provide
he’s on my
Side
maybe this is
Justified
or maybe there’s something wrong
Inside

I’m picking the numbers apart
Hardened Fingers
Shards of Stingers
ruthless
Unbending
standards
Unending
until I am
Standing
too late
Condescending
i’m getting too old to be so
Discerning
my loins should be
Burning

oh that you could
Matter
oh that your words could
melt down my
Metal
oh that you could
Cut Me
so I could
Clearly See
the fears of your mothers
all bleeding
Inside Me
try now to
Hide Me
from your
Paradigming
or else you could
Hold Me
whenever I’m
Lonely
Tell Me
It’s Only...

...

...a matter of time

Resolve stands firm in an empty
Eggshell
Tread lightly, slightly so
Politely

Treat like a trick
Turning from within
Toward midnight
Harbors
Waves of treasures

Carved into bone
Languages untold
Unspoken, unfold
A map marked by journeys off
Beaten paths
Undocumented
Half assed

Walk slowly
but predictably
through the threshold
of familiar opened doors

Shuffled footfall,
weary reckoning
with ground that has been lain before,
to beds that await...
comfortable resignation

Long are the days when hope waves from the waiting room,
rays of maybe
peek through dusty windows,
casting shadow on gray filtered light

Away, away, toward, toward, always in the middle of should and could

Sighs break silence
in the space
where sweet nothings resounded,
playing like children laughing in chase,
rosy cheeks,
angel face

Cold stares, steep stairs, creaky chairs break under the weight of yoked journeys

Graves hold memories loosely
as damp leaves washed away by rains,
unearthing
ghosts of dreams,
hosts of dry bones

Gone are the days when wind caught caution,
cotton sheets swaddled
heaving breasts
rising for
heavy breath

Away, away, toward, toward, always in the middle of should and could

Met your eyes I
Met my match the
Flames ripped through so
Unabashedly

Congratulations
On your landing
I burned on
In your abandoning

Morning sun
Reveals my passion
Lingering
Here in the ashes

Outrun the fire
That licks your feet
I’ll burn away
In ecstasy

Don't look back, I'll
Come undone and
We'll all fall
In temptation

Our Snow White dreams
Soak in sin
Forbidden poison
Down our chins

On my knees
On broken glass
I have prayed
For this to pass

To bury ties
That bind these souls
But my regret
Can’t fill these holes

I would beg
For us to die
But you could never
Say goodbye

So just smile and
Say hello
As ash to ash
This fire grows